On Thursday I had a meeting with my lawyer, myself, my husband and his lawyer. I feel very intimidated by my husband- (although I must admit that very slowly that is changing- I feel stronger than I used to). My Rabbi who has been extremely helpful to me and gone out of his way to show support, offered to come to the meeting to hold my hand. (not for real of course!) He is truly an amazing man. He has taken the time on a few occasions to sit with me in court, because I felt so weak and vulnerable with my husband and his big Rosh Yeshivah brother glaring at me.
So we get to my lawyers office, and my husband sees the Rabbi and goes into a frenzy. No! he cannot be here, I didn’t bring anyone, if I would have known I would have come with my (Rabbi) brother….and on and on.
He basically threw him out. I heard later that he was so proud of himself for “managing to get rid of the Rabbi”
The good part of this occurrence is that every time he plays these games I feel eternally grateful to Hashem and my friends for noticing my distress and as a result helping me to escape from being abused by this man.
I sat across from him in the conference room, and all I felt was utter contempt for him and his brutality. I think the hypocrisy is what upsets me even more than the actual abuse.
I cannot count how many times he has admonished me about some minor infraction (using the same salt shaker for both milchigs and fleishigs….is that even a halocha? Does anyone know)? – and then pointing to himself and barking at me; “I am a Ben Toiroh, do you hear? A BEN TOIROH”
And I would say nothing while at the same time deep inside myself I would be shaking with fear at his rage against me.
I sat there and listened to him and his Chassideshe lawyer tell me outright- “No I do NOT own our home, so I cannot give you half…because I don’t own it!”
I looked at him in disbelief. A Ben Torah? Is this what Hashem calls a Ben Torah?? We both know that we own the house, and that we chose it together, and paid the mortgage on it, and looked for tenants together, and received the rent money and renovated etc etc.
We both know this information as clear as the sky is blue. Yet he can sit across from me, look me in the eye and tell me with no uncertainty “we DO NOT own a home”
He is willing to testify in court and in Beis Din, and say with his own mouth something which many many people know is pure Sheker. Our neighbors, his extended family, my family, our children, all know that we own our house and that the mortgage is nearly paid up. I don’t know what to say, except if this a Ben Torah, then I want nothing to do with Benei Torah.
People don’t believe me when I tell them that my husband never goes to minyan in the morning, why he barely davens. He rolls out of bed, showers and dresses and rushes down to his little office. I suppose he deserves credit for actually winding his teflin round his arm? I guess that’s one madreiga.
That’s where his davening begins and that’s where it ends. He says the brocho on the Tfilin, whips it off his arm, throws it onto his desk and rushes out to teach his adorable little second graders. He runs to school each morning to teach them how to be a Ben Toiroh.
And they call him Rebbi, and the staff and the parents call him “Rabbi”. And they call him up in the evening and ask him how their little boy is doing, and he offers advice and encouragement because he is a wonderful mechanech. And when he finishes schmoozing to the mothers he comes upstairs and rapes me.
A true Ben Torah.