Today i felt an overwhelming sense of sadness. I often have difficulty trying to connect the sadness or any emotion for that matter to an actual event. This makes the sorrow all the more profound and confusing. My kids want to know why mommy is so sad today? What can i tell them? I have no answers. What do you tell your children? That a Rabbi molested me when I was a child, and now years later I still feel the pain and sorrow?
I cannot do that - I cannot tell my children what happened to me.
How can I burden them with this terrible knowledge?
So many questions...and not very many good answers.
I live with the pain, and yet I have much joy in my life too. I have my children and my friends. I am an artist and I use my creative talent to express my pain as well as my feelings of happiness and joy.
Sometimes the pain and pleasure get confused. But I live with that too.
I hope and pray that tomorrow will lessen the pain,