(First marriage to M)
M did not wait very long to begin abusing me. In fact the first time he hit me was on the night of our wedding.
I stepped out of the car and still wearing my wedding gown we entered the apartment. I turned around and lo and behold his entire family came trooping in behind us. Why were they here? I found out soon enough, apparently non frum people or goyim have a party after their wedding- at least that’s what they told me.
They had brought drinks and food and they settled in to enjoy their party. I was dumbfounded, I didn’t know what to do. I quickly ran into my bedroom to remove my gown and put on my sheitel. (wig)
I felt confused and embarrassed, because I didn’t understand what was happening, and I didn’t know how to be at a mixed party with beer and wine. I had never before mingled with the opposite sex, and here I was on my wedding night, forced to be at a party that I didn’t want.
It seemed like hours before they left, but they did and my husband and I were finally alone. We went into the bedroom where the beds were made with our crisp new linen. M pulled down the covers and in the middle of his bed was a pile of dirt. I looked at him in horror.
Hand on my mouth I gasped ”Who did this?”
“You should know who put the dirt there, it must have been you!” he said.
“Me?” I almost laughed. “Of course it wasn’t me.”
I glanced at M and noticed that his face had become red and his eyes were dark with anger. I was startled, I didn’t understand why he was getting so angry. We could just clean the bed, put clean sheets on and that would be the end.
All of a sudden he turned to me and snarled, “Your sisters did this, they are so jealous of you that they did this terrible thing.”
I looked at him in astonishment. My sisters would not even think up such an idea, it was ludicrous to even think they could or would. But he was adamant that someone in my now evil family was trying to destroy our marriage before it had even begun. I tried to defend my family but he refused to listen. And then before I knew what was happening, he raised his hand and slapped me hard across my face. My hand flew to my face in surprise and pain. I reeled back in complete shock. No one had ever struck me before and I was stunned. He raised his hand a second time and this time punched my upper arm. This time I tried to defend myself and I began to hit him back. But he was much stronger than me, and I didn’t stand a chance. I learned very quickly not to fight back, it only made him more angry and much more dangerous.
This was my wedding night. I was being beaten and humiliated by my very own husband, and I had no where to go and no one to tell.
I was alone with this violent man and there was nothing I could do about it.